Women all over the world please read this: Learn it and live by it!
Main Issue: It is not acceptable to pass out in a bathroom stall.
Reason: WE ALL HAVE TO GO PEE!!!
No woman gets her own personal “black out” stall.
I truly understand that you had 10 shots of tequila and that Heineken is running straight through your little body, but you have twenty other girls waiting in line with the same problem.
I know you didn’t mean to drink that much, and that this “never happens,” but you gotta pick your big girl panties up (literally) and go pass out some where else.
I’m not being mean when I curse you out, it’s just that I’m about to pee my pants in ten seconds if you don’t get your butt up and get out off the toilet.
Since, I just took away your main hang out spot…I’m going to give you several other options to be at peace while the world is still functioning.
1. The Bar: Yeah, you look like the idiot who drank too much, but people understand. I’ll be way more sympathetic towards you if you are passed out at a table or booth, rather than on the toilet. I feel like you are considerate of others feelings and pee emergencies, so you came out into the crowd to pass out rather than preventing all women from using the facilities.
2. Take-Away Restaurant: Happens to the best of us, trust me. Get a burger and chips and call it a night. Yeah the manager is going to get mad at you and give you ugly looks, but the upside is you got food and sleep. Everyone else got to eat too and a little entertainment.
3. The Street: I know, it doesn’t sound appealing, but do it with friends who haven’t had one too many pints like you, and they’ll get you home. You may fall on your head, because your friend tried to carry you home. BUT! Now, you know what a true friend is, and also lesson learned in the morning.
4. The Cab Ride Home: No harm, no foul. Just make sure you keep money in your purse or pocket so that your friends don’t have to pay for your portion of the fee.
5. Bed: Your bed, your friend’s bed, anyone’s bed as long as it’s not my bed. Do I even need to talk this one up?
Bed time: best time of the day!
So, just do your business and be quick about it. If I can sing all of “Living on a Prayer” while you’re still in the stall, it’s time to go.
I had to release this information out into the world, so that hopefully all women unite under this understanding. Together, we can prevent long lines at the women’s restrooms.
Lesson to be learned from this blog:
Please pass out anywhere and everywhere BUT the ladies’ restroom.